Weighing In

I was a little nervous today about going to the WW meeting. It was just the first week of working the program, but it had been a rough week of staying within my allotted points. It was a long holiday weekend, a holiday that is surrounded by food! I mean, there was carne asada night at my folks, wine tasting with picnic, mimosas, and who can forget the all-you-can-eat sushi joint. But I was good, I tried really hard to choose what I wanted and have correct portions.

Then there is today, Thursday. Which is a good thing usually since the science team (my team) at work has free lunch while we usually discuss whatever is the hot data for our team. I brought my lunch, knowing that the lunches provided are usually hard to say no to and full of calories and fat! Then they go and have make your own tacos! TACOS!!! With all the fixings.... YUMMY!!! I could not say no. I had 2 tacos with extra veggies, a little bit of guacamole, beans and rice. Then I went for the shortbread cookie. I had to! I only really wanted a taste (and it was not worth it). One taste of cookie that really was all that I had. So I ended up going over my points for the day by 2, but that is ok. Even with the crazy eating weekend, I hardly used up the extra points for the week. So I was safe.

But I still had to face the scale this evening. And with the bf doing so good, I was a little nervous. OK a lot nervous. I weighed in. The WW leader was quiet. Looked at me, looked at the scale and then back to the computer. She was quiet. I was getting more nervous. Then she says, "Congrats! You did great this week! Can I give you your award publicly in the meeting?" WHAT?! I did good? I get an award? How good did I do. I lost 6 pounds during the first week! I am pretty jazzed about this. I was hoping for 1-2 pounds this week, what with all the drugs I am still on.

Now I am doing the happy dance. Wanting to celebrate by eating out. But I know that that would be the wrong thing to do. So I am going to reward myself with some pudding and a silly movie.

And the award was to mark that I had lost the first 5 pounds. A good goal! Now onto the next goal, my 5%... so only a few more pounds to go...

Less is Better

Almost done with my second week of work since my return to the real world. Not quite two full weeks, but it is close enough. Each day is a little bit better. Each day is less.

Less weird at work ~

• less comments/questions about where I have been
• less discussions about my health

Less in life ~

• definitely less high fat foods
• puffy cheeks are starting to lose some of that puff
• the bf weighed in after week 1 of WW and is doing awesome! Less 6 pounds without cutting the hair! YAY!!! Way to go! (I do not weigh in until tonight, but hoping to also report a little less poundage)
• I am wearing rings today! No swelling of the fingers and I have been at work all day, typing away. What an improvement!
• Also, my feet are wearing fancy schmancy shoes (ok, fancy for me) and those feet are still in the shoes. No tap dancing around the office barefoot today.

These small changes of less are HUGE!

Every day is a little bit better than the last. Hope this trend stays for a while.

Coming To Terms With The Scale

While I must admit that I LOVED having the time off from work (more than I ever realized I would). I now have to deal with the reality of returning to work and oh my goodness!, what changes have occurred within / around / near my body. Somethings I am powerless to change ~ the deep sunken eyes and the swollen, puffy cheeks ~ all due to steroids. And will come off eventually, when I am no longer taking them, but that is going to be a while. This is my mantra ~ it is not permanent...

It really is the overall weight gain which is stashed somewhere between the thighs and boobs that has caused me to no longer fit into my pants which were swimming on me in February!!! To do something about this weight gain, to make me accountable for what I stuff in my mouth, I joined Weight Watchers today. I knew I had gained weight. The clothes did not fit. I just do not like the way I look. But the WW scale tells no lies. In this short 10 weeks, I have gained 27 pounds! YIKES!!! It can be "hidden" with properly fitted clothes. But I really do not wish to have to buy a new wardrobe. I like the old size 10 body and my wardrobe is FINALLY fitted to that old body.

I knew I had gained weight. Who is to blame? I could blame the weight gain all I wanted to on the steroids, other new drugs, feeling bad for myself, just eating MORE, being sick, etc, etc. But I will not! I need to take ownership of my body and my life. WW will allow me to be honest with what I shovel into my mouth and with my true weight. Hopefully, even with the steroids and other drugs, I can begin to lose these extra few pounds.

It may take a while, but no more excuses. The first goal is just to lose 9 pounds ( or 5%).... we shall see how long this takes...

Even the BF is going to do the WW plan with me. YAY for support!!!
Wish us luck!