tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20580100456496474382024-02-19T18:35:04.151-08:00Red ThreadKirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-33627447253257015642010-04-19T22:19:00.000-07:002010-04-19T23:02:12.811-07:00Things that make me smile :D<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg2hUQIAxOOGWbAC8fkb61WYm-l0_gdz1oq1TEuAv_m3b2zrJDZIMkmOjOLNjhYKb_tFxdc76A6If0MOBt8pXQF5QdcrwTjbgPgXdOwfESY7r1Wx0ZS-2Lt2nNTVYYDLAJPrL_SAbcdf8/s1600/DSC_6566-1.JPG"><br /></a><br /><br />Trying to do anything this weekend but think of that which ails me, led me to many laughs with friends and a weekend of gardening fun!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHVBH9XagPfOfPZsRr5op8NyaUbr7jop7bKBrRScIl6XJfa5pfgSSQT0PSN2re9qJ9x5XCYW5y5hzVqkWSJjf8Yg1xzFkuMrSSYkFx5zdvDrCRYTDPZFDXx4-96IZTKF5cvnZWkNXYNTg/s1600/VeggieGarden_April2010_DSC_6578-1.JPG"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 104px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHVBH9XagPfOfPZsRr5op8NyaUbr7jop7bKBrRScIl6XJfa5pfgSSQT0PSN2re9qJ9x5XCYW5y5hzVqkWSJjf8Yg1xzFkuMrSSYkFx5zdvDrCRYTDPZFDXx4-96IZTKF5cvnZWkNXYNTg/s320/VeggieGarden_April2010_DSC_6578-1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5462088463394373138" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJGSmURw_7MydDIXLqu_8fHd8saahfdUBKBSaVh6ibZ5TxIZ8ZUIEVdglx_fcL1KyPGg1aZrDvdlImxs9ZMER9xWBi_gQDwDANm0-gyK3kbgpVvEolenv2D-1Ky0U1K78qxYl6_6TIiX0/s1600/VeggieGarden_April2010_DSC_6580-1.JPG"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 187px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJGSmURw_7MydDIXLqu_8fHd8saahfdUBKBSaVh6ibZ5TxIZ8ZUIEVdglx_fcL1KyPGg1aZrDvdlImxs9ZMER9xWBi_gQDwDANm0-gyK3kbgpVvEolenv2D-1Ky0U1K78qxYl6_6TIiX0/s320/VeggieGarden_April2010_DSC_6580-1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5462088476507348914" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS1nxDeVmfbYpA1U63uWIEpavc2OidobBrGOyO21Js13imMToXvDP85TaNbO-wQNX7F8EurohU4brzhJmxOjR18R1wDUuE2pHvIvZG5UZvBFnfIUpL5wqWU5nEFJZuA5hKYrtry0-23Xw/s1600/VeggieGarden_April2010_DSC_6582.JPG"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS1nxDeVmfbYpA1U63uWIEpavc2OidobBrGOyO21Js13imMToXvDP85TaNbO-wQNX7F8EurohU4brzhJmxOjR18R1wDUuE2pHvIvZG5UZvBFnfIUpL5wqWU5nEFJZuA5hKYrtry0-23Xw/s320/VeggieGarden_April2010_DSC_6582.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5462089303180431234" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />And we found the artichoke plant has artichokes!<br /><br />And a silly squirrel was caught stealing tangerines.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg2hUQIAxOOGWbAC8fkb61WYm-l0_gdz1oq1TEuAv_m3b2zrJDZIMkmOjOLNjhYKb_tFxdc76A6If0MOBt8pXQF5QdcrwTjbgPgXdOwfESY7r1Wx0ZS-2Lt2nNTVYYDLAJPrL_SAbcdf8/s1600/DSC_6566-1.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 250px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg2hUQIAxOOGWbAC8fkb61WYm-l0_gdz1oq1TEuAv_m3b2zrJDZIMkmOjOLNjhYKb_tFxdc76A6If0MOBt8pXQF5QdcrwTjbgPgXdOwfESY7r1Wx0ZS-2Lt2nNTVYYDLAJPrL_SAbcdf8/s320/DSC_6566-1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5462090361684042306" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNZy5NYqzBwMSt00OqGEzf3rTkMxaQnaSTsmNss2ZB98f2QnJzPgaaanCiS0DUO9WYfShCp28WMSI1Eq160zN8w6BqwcjvQq2o8e3TPYvSsiMtClnp36_Ta3_-ydR8RaPqPLxUFdwnNmk/s1600/VeggieGarden_April2010_DSC_6582.JPG"><br /></a>Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-18617659484461848602010-04-17T13:32:00.000-07:002010-04-17T13:42:49.703-07:00A Good ScareRituxan treatment yesterday. As the treatment was finishing up, I started to lose feeling in my arms and legs. It was a weird feeling. It is hard to describe. The areas between my elbow and hand on both arms and between my knee and foot on both legs, had a strange pressure sensation. It felt as if that part of the body was not there. I could walk and use my hands, there was no signs of a lack of circulation in my fingers or toes. It was a strange paralysis that would occasionally creep further.<br /><br />I was worried enough to call the on-call doctor at the clinic, and luckily my doc was on call. He was definitely concerned as this is not a typical side effect with the drugs I was given yesterday. And I was told to go to the emergency if it proceeded to get worse and did not show signs of relief by morning. What a scare!<br /><br />Over time, the feeling of paralysis left my legs and by morning it had left my arms. Now I am left with a tingling sensation running up and down my arms, from shoulder to fingertips.<br /><br />I am scared. The lack of sensation, the lack of control that came with my temporary paralysis was unnerving. I am planning on calling the neurologist next week to see what is going on. His secretary probably already thinks I am crazy, as I kept calling her last week to get some information. Oh well. This call needs to happen. Crazy or not.<br /><br />As scared and worried as I am, I am really thankful for what I do have, for the life I still can live, for the strength and functionality I still have in my body, for the love of my bf and my family and friends. Yesterday I was just reminded how quickly it can all go away. So tonight I am going to celebrate life with friends. And continue this celebration as long as I can.<br /><br />I still have a lot left to live for!Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-13246517969167943472010-04-09T22:05:00.000-07:002010-04-09T22:17:26.306-07:00New DoctorToday I met my new doctor. She was really awesome. She did everything one would expect of a doctor, but that my previous doc failed at.<br /><br />We talked for an hour. About my medical history, how I was doing and any little minor annoyance she wanted to know about. She even touched me. She treated me as a whole person. Not just a paycheck. It was nice to find a very personable doctor.<br /><br />The good news is she thinks I have been misdiagnosed, that is also the bad news. If she is right, things may get more complicated down the road, it may be even harder to breed, but the medications will not need to change. If she is wrong, it is still the same game, same meds and still there is always questions about breeding. I do not know which I wish for. Both options have interesting paths and both have many difficult unforeseeable moments.<br /><br />Right now, I have committed to her to go for further testing. To see what is really going on. Her reasoning for the further testing is simple, to check out those minor annoyances in my life, which to her could potentially mean other issues.<br /><br />So I will keep my fingers crossed and hope for the least interesting path, whatever that may be. I love adventure, challenges and puzzles, but I think I have had enough of these health adventures to last me a little while.Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-13476977642785536162010-04-08T21:53:00.000-07:002010-04-09T22:05:38.259-07:00ReliefLast week I fired my doctor. My <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">rheumatologist</span> whom I have been seeing for almost 10 years. It was a really hard decision, we had a relationship, it was like breaking up with someone. You know all their faults, all their blessings, why they are good for you, why they are bad for you; yet it is still difficult.<br /><br />In this case, it should have been open and shut. I should have left years ago, but I could not. I could not waste the time to find a new doctor, I kept thinking I should give him one more chance, one more chance to change for the better. But he never did.<br /><br />The major issues were:<br /><ol><li>I was treated as if I had the plague, he stayed across the room and never came near me<br /></li><li>I had to remind him about health decisions he made about me in our last meeting, when he had his written notes in front of him</li><li>I was being lectured about health care reform and how he was going to go broke, etc because of it</li><li>and most importantly, any discussion regarding potential pregnancies was disregarded as null, since I am an unwed woman</li></ol>See, open and shut. Why did I not run screaming sooner? Why did I stay? Especially, when I live in an area with choices of doctors? Comments of laziness, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">scaredness</span>, worry of change all come up.<br /><br />Now that it is done, I feel relief. And excitement. About what the next doctor will be like and how that will affect my health, my life.Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-12520440500547903302009-10-03T18:10:00.001-07:002009-10-03T18:25:07.660-07:00Can you believe it has been 6 months?!Wow! It has been a while since I last posted. No good reason for not posting, so just going to start a new.<br /><br />It has been about 6 months since I started taking Rituxan. The drug worked really well for me. I have hardly had any flare ups over the last few months. I even survived a week in Reno. The bf and I went to Reno to check out the Reno Air Races. It was awesome! But for someone with RA and Lupus, any vacation can be a scary thought. You are out of your comfort zone, you are on someone else's schedule, the weather is different, the food is not your normal food, and any little thing could set off a flare. And the trip was awesome! It was not until the last day, that my knees and hips decided to give me a little attitude for making them walk all week in the heat. But I survived! It was a great little victory for me. It really made me smile and be thankful for where I am today.<br /><br />Yesterday I went for another Rituxan treatment. It went surprisingly well. I had no side effects this time, no shortness of breath, no fever and my blood pressure stayed at its normal low. And I was done in 5 1/2 hours. It was great! I even had a friend visit for a little while. It was great to catch up. I could not have asked for a better day.<br /><br />Today I am doing fine. The only way you would know I went through the ordeal yesterday, is if you spotted my nicely bruised hand. In my eyes, it is a badge of success. A badge of how far I have come this year. Of all that I have accomplished health-wise.<br /><br />Now I just have one more treatment left. Even though yesterday was easy, I am still not looking forward to it. Oh well...Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-64253172606248653902009-07-22T09:56:00.000-07:002009-07-22T16:28:16.126-07:00Fear<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">"I must not fear. </span><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"> Fear is the mind-killer. </span><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"> Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. </span><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"> I will face my fear. </span><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"> I will permit it to pass over me and through me. </span><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"> And when ...</span><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. </span><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"> Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. </span><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"> Only I will remain." </span><br /> <br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"> ---Frank Herbert, Dune</span><br /><br />One of my favorite quotes keeps running through my head as the last few days have been filled with fear and trepidation. As the medicine taper continues, my body is beginning to show its strong distaste to the taper. The body is temperamental these days, starting off with a small whine of annoyance that I would dare remove the precious steroid to the all out temper tantrum, that has me in near tears.<br /><br />And then this week I must taper even further. I must drop to 5 mg. While I should be shouting for joy, that this glorious moment has arrived, that all of these past 5 months have been worth it, I am paralyzed with fear.<br /><br />I want to up my dose. I do not want to keep decreasing. I do not like the way I feel. The way the body screams back at me on a daily basis. The way I have to hide it from the world. I mean, I am getting better, I am not supposed to have set backs. I am not supposed to hurt. I am not...<br /><br />These setbacks are preventing me from committing to events that I want to commit to. For instance, I really would like to compete in a triathlon. Not one of those Iron Man's or anything. I know I do not have the skills for that event, but one of those small, I could walk it if I had to, triathlon events. There is one coming up. It is short. Some friends are doing it. I could possibly compete in it with some training. BUT I am afraid to commit. I am afraid since I tried to bike ride this weekend and it was a huge failure. Part failure due to the equipment and part because of me, because my body decided to throw a small temper tantrum. I could barely make it around the block on the bike. I am scared because I do not know what my body will be like tomorrow, much less 2 months from now.<br /><br />I feel like I am giving into my fears. I hate that. I do not know what to do to fix it. This is not one of those, just push through the pain moments and you will succeed. Not one of those, "Don't be a wuss moments". These days this is the reality that I am struggling to not only accept but make life work.<br /><br />I only hope that in the end, that I could be exactly where the quote ends, "Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." Then I will be in a better place and it will have all been worth it.<br /><br />I think I will go watch Dune tonight - the David Lynch version.Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-24507213874458055742009-06-24T09:08:00.000-07:002009-06-24T09:15:28.336-07:00Grumbles Out Of BedStayed up way too late last night, working on a new quilt. Almost finished the top. Have one more seam to go, well, must rip it out first, then re-sew.<br /><br />Ended up getting up early to have a nice productive day at both work and home. But realizing that after 5 hours of sleep and a rather <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">un</span>-productive morning, it may not have been worth it. Plus grumpy because my hands have decided to be purple today.<br /><br />Oh yeah, I brought my quilt in to work today, so that I could use my down time to rip out the one row. And I forgot the seam ripper on the kitchen table.<br /><br />I should just go back to bed.Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-60608138388846968142009-06-23T22:00:00.000-07:002009-06-24T09:08:41.992-07:00Is It Back?I should be rather excited today, but I am not.<br /><br />I am steadily decreasing the amount of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">prednisone</span> I am taking, I just finished the quilt top I have been working on for months, I have fresh veggies from my garden, and all else in the personal life seems to be going well.<br /><br />I have been feeling rather uncomfortable the last few days. My knees are starting to resemble good sized cantaloupes and it is beginning to hurt when I walk. I just was hoping all of this was done, at least for a while longer. And I am worried. As I decrease the amount of steroid in my body, the joints seems to be a little more achy.<br /><br />I hope this is all in my head and not the start of another bout of fun.Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-12165625930627508482009-06-18T16:33:00.000-07:002009-06-19T12:42:38.883-07:00Weird DayToday started out great! Went to a WW meeting and found out I had lost a few more pounds (total lost so far is 7.8 pounds). Work was good. Everything seemed to be going well.<br /><br />Then I decided to go for a walk. I have been walking at work a few times a week. There are lots of great trails by work. And the two trails I usually go on are 3.5 and 4 miles each. So I figure I have been doing pretty well. However, I started out on the walk. And things just began to feel bad. My knee started to ache and it was not a sore over use kind of ache. It is the kind that makes me go, Oh crap! Not this again!. After about 15 more minutes of walking, my hip began in on the fun. Not one to every want to miss out on fun! The hip started to pop in and out. Lovely! Luckily for me, my friend who I was walking with, was also not feeling up to the usual long walk, so we turned around.<br /><br />Made it back to the office in one piece. But kept thinking how I wished I had my cell phone to call someone to pick us up. I am a little worried that this might be the beginning of a flare up. Even if it is not, it is definitely something to be cautious of. And I am worried how the rest of the day, week will go, if this <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">achiness</span> keeps up.<br /><br />At least I have a fun movie night to look forward to! (a nice sedentary evening).<a id="publishButton" class="cssButton" href="javascript:void(0)" target="" onclick="if (this.className.indexOf("ubtn-disabled") == -1) {var e = document['stuffform'].publish;(e.length) ? e[0].click() : e.click(); if (window.event) window.event.cancelBubble = true; return false;}"><div class="cssButtonOuter"><div class="cssButtonMiddle"><div class="cssButtonInner"><br /></div></div></div></a>Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-24143458722520429302009-06-12T12:24:00.000-07:002009-06-12T12:27:57.538-07:00Time to be thankful<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhlJzvwlGcEqHsjIFoDlpONQSwNTIx8sLLUtbx0nyxkK_IpJvM9D9GPWmAQLsLoaDF3bYbTuTfJiDCfXhUvGHqlvIACBb85N4QxtLJ_FLm0pRVHQu66YDNqFbAzqZdD4cRPpA8GPX1g3I/s1600-h/Roses_DSC_0829.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; clear: both; float: left;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhlJzvwlGcEqHsjIFoDlpONQSwNTIx8sLLUtbx0nyxkK_IpJvM9D9GPWmAQLsLoaDF3bYbTuTfJiDCfXhUvGHqlvIACBb85N4QxtLJ_FLm0pRVHQu66YDNqFbAzqZdD4cRPpA8GPX1g3I/s320/Roses_DSC_0829.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI0urbOCMsoj4E_izw-x_uJ_nP2hsT1j4JtQlKWwsqomvDmN4LXNLWkONoLGYr1aWZ6hvYC7QZ7S_SuX7w1Qe9LNV6A2nmAYelYOyjqO3cbfkzbSDjOUn6oD7Cr8s8jGxDOQmCoIkeKgo/s1600-h/Roses_DSC_0829-1.JPG"><br /></a><div style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://picasa.google.com/blogger/" target="ext"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></a><br />This week has been pretty nice. I really can not complain. I have been reading other blogs about life with RA and feel pretty fortunate. My life of chaos and extreme discomfort is slowing moving to a more normal functional realm. After a long year, some much needed time off from life, drastic changes in my medical care, and a lot of faith, I am finally feeling better. I feel like I am <span style="font-style: italic;">normal</span>. Or as <span style="font-style: italic;">normal </span>as any of us really are. I can do the everyday mundane things and the not so mundane things.<br /><br />I think the hardest part of this disease is that it blindly strikes, hard, quick, out of nowhere; with periods of peace which trick you. They trick you into forgetting what the disease is like, the constant pain, the inability to do simple tasks. The way in which your body can go from normal to completely broken in 0 to 60 in a blink of an eye... And for me it was only 2 short months ago, where I was struggling with just about everything. Trying to cope with it all. Trying hard not to depend on others too much. Never wanting to be a burden and always wanting...<br /><br />It is good to remember what it was like. It is good to know that all the changes and hard decisions made over the last few months were worth it. That my body has responded amazingly well. And that is definitely something to celebrate and be thankful for!<br /><br />And this is not only noticed by me, by how I feel each day and perceive myself. But by others. YAY! This weekend a friend told me how it was nice to see me so much more animated. It is not the first time that I had heard that, but each time I hear a comment like that, it makes me stop and think about the toll this disease takes on a person as a whole and how much I have to be grateful for. I definitely enjoy being more active and positive. It just feels good!<br /><br />The highlights of the week<br /><ul><li>wonderful comments from friends about positive attitude ~ which is great since I feel I can be quite a downer and have tend to view the glass as half empty<br /></li><li>increase in energy<br /></li><li>making time to workout ~ walking at work 3.5 miles 3 times this week and dance class (but I still gained weight)</li><li>pills decreasing in number ~ I am down to 20 mg prednisone a day!!! WoOT!!!</li><li>seeing the squash and tomatoes on the plants grow + building the trellis for the peas with the bf</li><li>making time for and having a great date night</li><li>success at work ~ smoothly accomplishing something (that had to do with a someone) that I was dreading... but hey, it was smooth as butter</li><li>and possibilities at work ... keeping fingers (and toes) crossed on this</li></ul>My life seems to have a balance or as close to one, that I have not seen in years. The body works. I feel good. I have more energy than I have in a long while. Right now the key to keeping things running smoothly seems to be structure - planned diets, sleep schedule, medication schedule, lists for just about everything under the sun... I am a little tired of the <span style="font-style: italic;">schedule </span>and <span style="font-style: italic;">plans. </span>But when I do not get enough sleep or eat the wrong thing, I start to feel bad again.<br /><br />I guess it is all about balance.<br /><br />I do miss some of the chaos. May have to run amok a bit.<br /><br /><br /></div>Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-57513001668183278782009-06-02T10:52:00.000-07:002009-06-02T11:15:08.371-07:00Strength and InspirationAs I am sitting here, reading others blogs, I came across a posting by <a href="http://www.rheumatoidarthritisguy.com/?p=2576">RA Guy</a> which was all about strength and inspiration. He had a face-to-face meet with a woman who has lived with RA and was willing to share her stories, the good and the bad. So check out his post <a href="http://www.rheumatoidarthritisguy.com/?p=2576" rel="bookmark" title="Link to Wonder Woman, My Mentor">Wonder Woman, My Mentor.</a><br /><br />It is a good read. Definitely inspiring to all who have any struggles, no matter what size.Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-28803212289985807472009-05-28T19:45:00.001-07:002009-05-28T20:02:10.942-07:00Weighing InI was a little nervous today about going to the WW meeting. It was just the first week of working the program, but it had been a rough week of staying within my allotted points. It was a long holiday weekend, a holiday that is surrounded by <span style="font-weight: bold;">food! </span>I mean, there was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">carne</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">asada</span> night at my folks, wine tasting with picnic, mimosas, and who can forget the all-you-can-eat sushi joint. But I was good, I tried really hard to choose what I wanted and have correct portions.<br /><br />Then there is today, Thursday. Which is a good thing usually since the science team (my team) at work has free lunch while we usually discuss whatever is the hot data for our team. I brought my lunch, knowing that the lunches provided are usually hard to say no to and full of calories and fat! Then they go and have make your own tacos! TACOS!!! With all the fixings.... YUMMY!!! I could not say no. I had 2 tacos with extra veggies, a little bit of guacamole, beans and rice. Then I went for the shortbread cookie. I had to! I only really wanted a taste (and it was not worth it). One taste of cookie that really was all that I had. So I ended up going over my points for the day by 2, but that is <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">ok</span>. Even with the crazy eating weekend, I hardly used up the extra points for the week. So I was safe.<br /><br />But I still had to face the scale this evening. And with the bf doing so good, I was a little nervous. OK a lot nervous. I weighed in. The WW leader was quiet. Looked at me, looked at the scale and then back to the computer. She was quiet. I was getting more nervous. Then she says, "Congrats! You did great this week! Can I give you your award publicly in the meeting?" WHAT?! I did good? I get an award? How good did I do. I lost 6 pounds during the first week! I am pretty jazzed about this. I was hoping for 1-2 pounds this week, what with all the drugs I am still on.<br /><br />Now I am doing the happy dance. Wanting to celebrate by eating out. But I know that that would be the wrong thing to do. So I am going to reward myself with some pudding and a silly movie.<br /><br />And the award was to mark that I had lost the first 5 pounds. A good goal! Now onto the next goal, my 5%... so only a few more pounds to go...Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-77582839364088023272009-05-28T11:57:00.000-07:002009-05-28T19:48:12.893-07:00Less is BetterAlmost done with my second week of work since my return to the real world. Not quite two full weeks, but it is close enough. Each day is a little bit better. Each day is less.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">Less weird at work ~ </span><br /><ul><li>less comments/questions about where I have been</li><li>less discussions about my health</li></ul><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">Less in life ~</span><br /><ul><li>definitely less high fat foods</li><li>puffy cheeks are starting to lose some of that <span style="font-style: italic;">puff</span></li><li>the bf weighed in after week 1 of WW and is doing awesome! Less 6 pounds without cutting the hair! YAY!!! Way to go! <span style="font-size:85%;">(I do not weigh in until tonight, but <span style="font-style: italic;">hoping </span>to also report a little less poundage)</span></li><li>I am wearing rings today! No swelling of the fingers and I have been at work all day, typing away. What an improvement!</li><li>Also, my feet are wearing fancy schmancy shoes (ok, fancy for me) and those feet are still in the shoes. No tap dancing around the office barefoot today.</li></ul>These small changes of <span style="font-style: italic;">less</span> are <span style="font-weight: bold;">HUGE</span>!<br /><br />Every day is a little bit better than the last. Hope this trend stays for a while.Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-17810260827955563302009-05-25T20:08:00.000-07:002009-05-28T19:47:27.633-07:00Relaxation and Then SomeFor some reason I have had no energy this weekend. I am completely wiped out. I have not done anything that would require extra energy, that would give me cause to say K take a break, you have worked hard. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. The weekend composed of eating way too much at my parents on <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Friday</span>, massage on <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Saturday</span>, being lazy and a nap on <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Sunday</span>, movie and wine tasting today. LAZY!!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">So why do I feel like the aliens have landed and have decided to leech my life force????</span><br /><br />The massage was awesome! My girlfriends had given me a massage for a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">b-day</span> gift and I finally had time to schedule it. The masseuse was very good... until he got to my feet. And then he touched something and OUCH!!! The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">reflexologist</span> in him, says the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">ouchie</span> spots are due to issues with bladder/kidney areas. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Ok</span>, I can believe that, what with all the drugs that are in my system. But still <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">OWWW</span>!!! Who knew a single point on the pad of my foot could be so sensitive. Other than that, it was great. I am thinking of doing this more often. I believe it will be good overall. Good for the circulation. Good to work out some of the kinks.<br /><br />Now must go back to figuring out how to combat the life force leeching aliens. The bf says I need to start exercising (bike rides are his suggestion) to combat these evil forces conniving against me. Hmmm... not sure about that... will think about it while I drift back to the sewing machine.Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-89301315838806276042009-05-21T21:04:00.000-07:002009-05-28T19:46:36.394-07:00Coming To Terms With The ScaleWhile I must admit that I <span style="font-weight: bold;">LOVED</span> having the time off from work (more than I ever realized I would). I now have to deal with the reality of returning to work and oh my goodness!, what changes have occurred within / around / near my body. Somethings I am powerless to change ~ the deep sunken eyes and the swollen, puffy cheeks ~ all due to steroids. And will come off eventually, when I am no longer taking them, but that is going to be a while. This is my mantra ~ it is not permanent...<br /><br />It really is the overall weight gain which is stashed somewhere between the thighs and boobs that has caused me to no longer fit into my pants which were swimming on me in February!!! To do something about this weight gain, to make me accountable for what I stuff in my mouth, I joined Weight Watchers today. I knew I had gained weight. The clothes did not fit. I just do not like the way I look. But the WW scale tells no lies. In this short 10 weeks, I have gained 27 pounds! YIKES!!! It can be "hidden" with properly fitted clothes. But I really do not wish to have to buy a new wardrobe. I like the old size 10 body and my wardrobe is FINALLY fitted to that old body.<br /><br />I knew I had gained weight. Who is to blame? I could blame the weight gain all I wanted to on the steroids, other new drugs, feeling bad for myself, just eating MORE, being sick, etc, etc. But I will not! I need to take ownership of my body and my life. WW will allow me to be honest with what I shovel into my mouth and with my true weight. Hopefully, even with the steroids and other drugs, I can begin to lose these extra few pounds.<br /><br />It may take a while, but no more excuses. The first goal is just to lose 9 pounds ( or 5%).... we shall see how long this takes...<br /><br />Even the BF is going to do the WW plan with me. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">YAY</span> for support!!!<br />Wish us luck!Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-84200862943063103792009-05-21T13:26:00.000-07:002009-05-21T13:38:15.353-07:00What People SayYesterday was my first day back to work after 10 weeks off. It was a nice mellow day full of interesting comments and really no work. Most of the day can be summed up within the following four topics:<br /><br /><ul><li>welcome back - how are you feeling? (talked more about my health yesterday than I had all of last month).</li><li>you were gone??? (this by someone in marketing who I rarely interact with, so it is <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ok</span>).</li><li>the one I was dreading - <span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">You have gained weight!</span> ~ Really, no way, I would never have noticed that! Who says that to someone? Really? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">SRSLY</span>??? Yes, I know I have gained some weight, but hey, I have been sick and recovering.<br /></li><li>and my personal favorite of the day, sincerely meaning this: "You have such a good attitude about you today and I noticed you are smiling a lot. It looks good on you!" ~ What an amazing thing to say! The person then asked me what the difference was, I said that I am no longer in constant pain and getting away was a nice break, good both physically and mentally.<br /></li></ul>Now people, when someone comes back from an illness, focus on the <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">positive</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>DO NOT TELL THEM THAT THEY ARE FAT, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">cuz</span> I am sure that they <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">know</span> that they are no longer the svelte beauty they once were. And it is just rude! But I was expecting the fat comment, from somewhere, someone, just was not expecting it yesterday. Oh well. It was rather funny. At least that is how I took it.Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-45678346625916366322009-05-19T09:50:00.000-07:002009-05-19T12:22:50.590-07:00Almost Back to WorkMy last day of FREEDOM is today. What to do? I have a to-do list a mile long, of all the things I should get done before I go back to work, of all the chores around the house that have been left undone, of all the the things I want to do... what should I do?<br /><br />Tomorrow will be my first day back at work after my 10 week leave of absence. WOW! 10 weeks went fast! And what do I have to show for it?!<br /><ul><li>progress on quilts and knitting projects<br /></li><li>a veggie garden that is starting to bloom (I have baby squash) - such a proud mama<br /></li><li style="font-weight: bold;">a healthier, happier body that has been relatively flare free</li><li>an awesome support network of friends, family and doctors<br /></li><li>and a body that needs to go on a diet (YIKES! Steroids are not good for the figure)</li><li>vacations to see family and friends<br /></li></ul>But the thought of going back tomorrow terrifies me. I know most of the people there. I guess the company has expanded with sales and marketing folks since I have left (and you know how those teams grow and multiply!). I am worried about how I look. My face is horrible! I haz the cheeks that can store nuts for a whole family of squirrels for an entire winter or two. Plus my face is so red. My face will calm down once I get off some of the extra drugs, but that will still be awhile. It is the one obvious way people can tell that I am not <span style="font-weight: bold;">normal</span>. It really bothers me. The rest of the weight gain (about 20 pounds) can easily be hid as long as I wear clothes that fit... must admit to weight gain and buy new clothes.... So not too worried about that.<br /><br />The other thing that bothers me is what will people say to me? what will it be like to go back? what will I be working on? It is all those first day of school/work type jitters. I guess no matter how old one gets or how many new jobs, you never really get over those feelings. I also am worried that people will see me as less than whole. Like I can not do the job anymore. Which is totally not the case. I am completely fine! I can function as well as before. I just know I have a few boundaries that I need to work into my day, like no more forgetting to eat, making sure I get to bed every night at a decent hour, things like that. I hope people do not just see me for my illness but for me, the me that can function normally (well, as normally as any of us really function) as an adult. I mean, I am no longer getting stuck in places anymore! I can touch my toes, well sort of, as long as it is not one of those crazy yoga poses - but then again, I could never do that.<br /><br />Today will start with a Costco trip and hopefully some fun will follow for my last day of freedom! For tomorrow is back to the normal working adult world.Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-34710436432427626562009-05-15T15:51:00.000-07:002009-05-15T15:55:56.225-07:00Fridge Clean OutOver the past few months I have been switched medications over and over and over again. So I have (or had) a nicely stocked fridge of Enbrel and Humira. Hoping I could donate it somewhere, to someone. My doctor kept telling me to hang on to it, just in case and wait a few months, then donate. But between leaving for Reno and coming home, our fridge went out... so all the meds have been room temperature for about 3 days. Not good for the meds.<br /><br />I guess this is one really expensive fridge clean out!Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-34837861049405968632009-05-15T13:07:00.000-07:002009-05-15T14:40:10.861-07:00Stronger Than BeforeMy 12 day adventure came to an end. And what an adventure it was!<br /><br />Texas was amazing! The weather was perfect Texas weather ~ nice and warm with a tad humidity and a chance of thunderstorms. It was a great chance for a good flare. But <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">nada</span> nothing zilch happened. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">YAY</span>!!!<br /><br />My twin nephews are adorable. I managed to gobble them up every chance I could get. They were both a bit sick and unhappy in the beginning of my trip, but by the end of the trip, they were smiling, playing and just so happy. The twins even wanted to show us how to play with the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Wii</span>. Running around, pretending to throw the controllers and growling at the TV. It was pretty silly.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnGHCXoFm12jLxGUUWVSTAuLzmkfJDoFMQ1A9YT_46vfUhW5Kfihmuyw7dPENJBYCS6Nmj_aCi6t9RCOqexcsgKiKJYn3SCB6yhdDv3uyK41Tz16pj0oGlgyLYr8GwvfKf806PBOhdYUM/s1600-h/DSC_0917-1.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 183px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnGHCXoFm12jLxGUUWVSTAuLzmkfJDoFMQ1A9YT_46vfUhW5Kfihmuyw7dPENJBYCS6Nmj_aCi6t9RCOqexcsgKiKJYn3SCB6yhdDv3uyK41Tz16pj0oGlgyLYr8GwvfKf806PBOhdYUM/s320/DSC_0917-1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336160927932667922" border="0" /></a>Walking around stores in Texas with the twins was quite interesting. People will just walk up to the boys and touch them or try to pick them up. I was not use to that at all!!! My brother says that this is just normal. And NO he has not gotten use to it! WOW!!! Not sure how I would feel about that if it happened all the time. Everyone was real nice. I had no problems with anyone. It is just a weird feeling when someone approaches you and makes a bee-line to the child.<br /><br />I managed to catch the twins cold. Which amazingly was great for travel. With the swine flu scare, I managed to get the whole row to myself. No one wanted to sit next to a coughing, nose blowing <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">chica</span>. Oh well. I flew home nice and comfortably into <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">SFO</span>. Caught the dance recital by Peck Peck Dance Ensemble while in SF. And had a really good time seeing the performance and catching up with my folks.<br /><br />With my cold full blown, I caught a plane ride to Reno and tried to party it up. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Ok</span>. I went to bed early every night, but I still gambled my little <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">tushy</span> up and had a great time with the girls. I need to do these little mini trips more often. It is just so nice to get away and be with your girlfriends.<br /><br />After this amazing, hectic 12 days, I feel surprisingly good (with a little tired and a nose that wishes to be on someone <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">else's</span> face). I really expected either the weather or the travel to cause some sort of physical ailment in my body, some sort of random flare moment. But really nothing. Maybe the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Rituxan</span> is working... Wouldn't that be awesome! I am tapering down the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">prednisone</span> and am currently down to 30 mg a day. Half of where I started with no ill side effects.<br /><br />Yes, I can not wait to be completely off the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">prednisone</span> and able to lose the sunken in eye, chubby cheek look. I want my body and face back! But I really should not complain. I am a million times better than I was 3 months ago. My recovery is going well.<br /><br />I am even going back to work next week. The true stress test... but will discuss after I start back...Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-25924693303118004122009-05-02T14:41:00.001-07:002009-05-02T15:06:09.022-07:00HappinessWith this almost rainy day, one really wants to just sit with a cup of hot cocoa and watch a movie or two. However, I am swamped with a mile long to-do list as I begin my first true adventure since taking a leave of absence. It begins with me going to a bachlorette party, then heading to Texas, only to come back to California for a day, before I head to Reno all in a short 13 days. The adventure begins this afternoon and I am procrastinating packing for the overnight party. Somethings never change.<br /><br />Today I woke up and there were certain things that just made me smile...<br />Pure blissful happiness...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">Finishing the first row of the quilt. It is coming along nicely.</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrFktL49kIdEY5mKmFcLDF_ym2HhYSOEAotzzoP-XCw2LkETEY0NBSp9Sq_tGoA3qlLickkPF5xE5uodSHB8LYUMmUQKxxXtdncigKvKPuC6wjBWrdaFSxMPB_3BN2d_VhpCVlMLui31g/s1600-h/DoubleWeddingRing_layout_DSC_0865-1.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 96px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrFktL49kIdEY5mKmFcLDF_ym2HhYSOEAotzzoP-XCw2LkETEY0NBSp9Sq_tGoA3qlLickkPF5xE5uodSHB8LYUMmUQKxxXtdncigKvKPuC6wjBWrdaFSxMPB_3BN2d_VhpCVlMLui31g/s400/DoubleWeddingRing_layout_DSC_0865-1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331348249527357650" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">Finding that perfect container that fits (almost) all of my daily meds.</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLloWLB70SnLew0-NNz-0YjwijPTQKsV_6dhqUeGbvbaQRWULqq-oN0-IqrjaivdYZXYXqCYjgbWDcU1kc6t6_1LaCh_rAv96C1caySHAb2Dq83VXbAtP5bW4nKQDV_QHijRykXVpIuos/s1600-h/DrugStore_DSC_0866.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 268px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLloWLB70SnLew0-NNz-0YjwijPTQKsV_6dhqUeGbvbaQRWULqq-oN0-IqrjaivdYZXYXqCYjgbWDcU1kc6t6_1LaCh_rAv96C1caySHAb2Dq83VXbAtP5bW4nKQDV_QHijRykXVpIuos/s400/DrugStore_DSC_0866.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331349029939387298" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">And seeing my garden grow. :D</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">new growth (but I can not remember what is planted here)</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPIulZVTEU4apPmTnDFavCoJ4B8RVb3HFgnPxChB_dLq4hCsnnujxvc9WfkQgAeUp0_SNF1Y5fgN8ejiTf8k4Orm41JW1C54BRFQmsZZc9pjV9ljPk_zBBo1cVU9lP1fgufBP6whcISWw/s1600-h/VeggieGarden_02May2009_DSC_0860-1.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 120px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPIulZVTEU4apPmTnDFavCoJ4B8RVb3HFgnPxChB_dLq4hCsnnujxvc9WfkQgAeUp0_SNF1Y5fgN8ejiTf8k4Orm41JW1C54BRFQmsZZc9pjV9ljPk_zBBo1cVU9lP1fgufBP6whcISWw/s400/VeggieGarden_02May2009_DSC_0860-1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331350475417754834" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">and tomatoes and squash and all are still doing well</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglVXUr80hRrsILwFhc272vbub8GtvdES-VsNAJTrfG1Cy3vv7eDz7YuY9Xxr-v2TXhHtFpMklK7o1ipuqPwWitHq1GWRyn1e2QrtFJ749wzyjclpEpZmk_-UKSKY2tgI-Zt4onp8DxWn8/s1600-h/VeggieGarden_02May2009_DSC_0864.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 268px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglVXUr80hRrsILwFhc272vbub8GtvdES-VsNAJTrfG1Cy3vv7eDz7YuY9Xxr-v2TXhHtFpMklK7o1ipuqPwWitHq1GWRyn1e2QrtFJ749wzyjclpEpZmk_-UKSKY2tgI-Zt4onp8DxWn8/s400/VeggieGarden_02May2009_DSC_0864.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331350469670435906" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Now to packing and adventure and hoping that my body stands up to it all!<br /></div></div></div>Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-83371247325023758252009-04-30T11:56:00.000-07:002009-04-30T11:58:04.491-07:00Today's horoscope reaffirms my need to learn to finish what I start!<br /><br /><b>Your horoscope for April 30, 2009</b> <div style="height: 5px;"><spacer type="block" height="1"></div> Look before you leap today. There is a very good chance that you will step off the edge of a cliff if you are not careful. Errors can easily be avoided by simply taking the time to think things through carefully before you act. <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">You are great when it comes to starting projects, but not so great when it comes to finishing them. Today would be an excellent time to practice your follow-through.</span><br /><br />HahahahaKirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-16265829719325200612009-04-29T22:32:00.000-07:002009-04-29T22:55:12.313-07:007 Years In The Making...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi75Zno9JxscrntAp2Sz4IY5YMnS6G-KofsSozsJSVeVpX40dmoaGQtXJZhDvJyOeqKexrERwB_dgDITFtckxLeu8JXbTsklzxiHgdDKaOZ3vEd4DFh7U8vLfv5aRkqj4-02n-qj-kpDWc/s1600-h/Koi_StackNWhack_DSC_0848-1.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 306px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi75Zno9JxscrntAp2Sz4IY5YMnS6G-KofsSozsJSVeVpX40dmoaGQtXJZhDvJyOeqKexrERwB_dgDITFtckxLeu8JXbTsklzxiHgdDKaOZ3vEd4DFh7U8vLfv5aRkqj4-02n-qj-kpDWc/s320/Koi_StackNWhack_DSC_0848-1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5330358576160949538" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 102);">I joined the Stashbuster's Class at </span><a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 102);" href="http://www.alwaysquiltingonline.com/">Always Quilting</a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 102);"> this past month. It is great! You show up once a month, work on any of your UFO's and then get "stash" money when you finish a project. So I came home and fished out all sorts of old projects that have never been finished. You see, I am really good at starting projects, really bad at finishing said projects. Now all I see are "stash" money to buy new fabric for more projects!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 102);">The first quilt top finish is a Stack N Whack I started in 2002. My mom and I took a class to learn this technique. She finished hers, I never did. I really should have taken a picture of my unfinished quilt, because as I unfolded it last week there were all these yellow topped glass pins still stuck in it. Holding bits together. After looking at the quilt, I realized I only had 4 seams left to sew. That was it! Then to just add the border.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 102);">The construction is really poor (but no one will get to see that once it is all quilted together). But I do love how it turned out! </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 102);">Here is the quilt top with the border attached. </span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFUepmO6xW04sXSHKvo-8AyvNQt0gtyr3-6klujKNRnDMTYuRxfb5L0Wq-93w8Fz2HPf1L5_Nnpa7xwKtEjrhVZy3-XW2hy9nE0LxFq1GykNseQ-mopv0MrIJ4eXdFVs-RDBpI6vDF0Rs/s1600-h/Koi_StackNWhack_DSC_0834.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFUepmO6xW04sXSHKvo-8AyvNQt0gtyr3-6klujKNRnDMTYuRxfb5L0Wq-93w8Fz2HPf1L5_Nnpa7xwKtEjrhVZy3-XW2hy9nE0LxFq1GykNseQ-mopv0MrIJ4eXdFVs-RDBpI6vDF0Rs/s320/Koi_StackNWhack_DSC_0834.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5330357002035147906" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 102);">Now onto picking backing fabric so I can finish the project and use the lovely quilt. And round up some stash money for fabric for more future UFO's.</span>Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-80588599673457381802009-04-21T08:54:00.000-07:002009-04-21T12:24:21.439-07:00How does your garden grow?After what feels like months of having the weak, I finally am starting to feel "normal". Or at least feel like I am showing improvement. My bf has been working hard at weeding out the area behind our fig tree, so that I could plant a veggie garden. I really wanted to do the weeding. But I tried and FAILED!!! The weeds were mighty! They fought hard to stay in the ground and won. So the bf used his brute strength to get rid of all of the weeds.<br /><br />Yesterday, I went out there and planted the veggies. YAY!!! And there was a teeny tiny section of weeds staring at me. Not much, but right along the wall. They were taunting me. I got out the hula-hoe, just like before, but this time I won the battle! I was so excited. Small win for me! Then I completed the planting job. After it was all said and done, the plants and seeds were all in the ground, I was covered in mud and sweat, I felt really good. This was the first time I have really done something physical in months. It is a good start. A good sign. Times are a changing. I am on the mend. <br /><br />Here is the veggie garden. My big accomplishment for Monday!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn7yNdBdcSH9LTbn8u0oGNkiI3-0hhBjIhRbbKioE5UMQmV67ZBIfQ6obfttMqfgjb4wJqfAFsC77N6V3rpNYDdxuAsIcU2-5pyk2qbzoYeFEYqjCEZWugCGWhWDkIqNIlK6vYEaLejkg/s1600-h/VeggieGarden_April2009_DSC_0819.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn7yNdBdcSH9LTbn8u0oGNkiI3-0hhBjIhRbbKioE5UMQmV67ZBIfQ6obfttMqfgjb4wJqfAFsC77N6V3rpNYDdxuAsIcU2-5pyk2qbzoYeFEYqjCEZWugCGWhWDkIqNIlK6vYEaLejkg/s320/VeggieGarden_April2009_DSC_0819.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5327226831242775234" /></a><br /><br />I think we might have over did it for our first veggie garden. I planted tomatoes, squash, pumpkin, honey dew, leeks, spinach, snow peas, snap peas, and some different pepper plants. Now hopefully it will grow and we will get to eat the harvest before the 007 squirrels get to them.Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-7550566362710867732009-04-18T14:52:00.000-07:002009-04-18T15:06:37.336-07:00Round 2Yesterday I had the second round of Rituxan treatment. I met with the doctor and we discussed the few side effects I had last time. Then he walked me over to the clinic and the nurses whisked me away....<br /><br />It was a long day. The plan was to drug me and ramp the drip up to 200 cc/hr and leave it there until all 1000 cc were in me. They loaded me with Benadryl, Tylenol, and steroids to prevent any side effects and started the Rituxan. The rest of the day was really uneventful, at least for me. I watched movies on the iPod and crocheted a blanket and chatted with my neighbors and people watched (good people watching day). And then my day was done.<br /><br />I was the second person in the clinic and one of the last ones out. At least this time I was not THE LAST ONE on a Friday night there. <br /><br />Now I just wait to see if it all works. Hopefully it will work. And if it does work, then I will be back at the clinic in six months to do 2 more rounds of treatment. The treatment really is not bad at all. It is just a long day stuck in a chair hooked up to an IV people watching and keeping yourself entertained. <br /><br />I did find out how much weight I have gained. They weighed me 2.5 weeks ago when I met with the doctor and then again yesterday before treatment. I have gained 9 pounds. Not too bad. But I think most of it has landed on my face! I have chipmunk cheeks that the squirrels would die for! Definitely storing food for the next few winters. Luckily, most of my weight gain is due to the steroids I am taking and should come off once I stop taking them. Who knows when that will be. In the meantime, I just need to keep watching what I eat in a healthy way, not the watching the food go from plate to fork to mouth kind of way, and keep exercising.Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058010045649647438.post-66349925179463691362009-04-18T14:39:00.001-07:002009-04-18T14:52:55.562-07:00Fat FaceThe other day, I was hanging out with my grandmother and her older sister. Now my grandmother has Alzheimer's. We were looking at photos and my great aunt was asking if grandma knew any of the people in the photos. Grandma looks up at her sister and says she does not know who she is. Then turns to me and says, of course I know her, that's Fat Face. <br /><br />Well, that's a new one on me. I know I have gained some weight, but SRSLY! Fat Face!!! My grandma has always had issues with weight. She would live off of lettuce leaves and broccoli and always had a comment about someone's weight, especially if they were related. Weight and body image were very important to her while growing up. And continued to be important to her as she raised her children. But now that she has full blown Alzheimer's there is no filter. <br /><br />We ended up taking grandma out for ice cream. And while at the parlor there was this one family there, a mom and her 2 kids. What was interesting about them, was that they were the family that Super Size Me is about. The family was overweight and the kids wanted ICE CREAM!!! They all had a cone when we walked in. They ALL ordered ANOTHER cone while we were eating ours. And then they left. But only to come back, so that the son could have another cone. The mom said it was ok as long as he ordered a sorbet. The daughter also wanted another scoop, but her wish was not granted. I was shocked. <br /><br />Growing up, we would go out for ice cream as a treat and there was no way we were getting a second ice cream, much less a third. I had never seen anything quite like this before. And amazingly grandma kept her mouth shut! She just glared at the family, but never said one word. Probably because it was stuffed full of her single scoop of cookies n cream.<br /><br />I remember watching the Super Size Me documentary thinking that you do not have to order everything on the menu, you do not have to get a large. But here in front of me it was happening. It was a very surreal cultural moment for me, one that I had not really experienced before.<br /><br />Ironically, later that same evening, grandma told me how great I looked and that I had lost tons of weight. Now I have gained some weight and it is REALLY obvious in the face, so I just laughed and joked around with grandma.<br /><br />What else can you do?Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14470465201853041278noreply@blogger.com1