Grumbles Out Of Bed

Stayed up way too late last night, working on a new quilt. Almost finished the top. Have one more seam to go, well, must rip it out first, then re-sew.

Ended up getting up early to have a nice productive day at both work and home. But realizing that after 5 hours of sleep and a rather un-productive morning, it may not have been worth it. Plus grumpy because my hands have decided to be purple today.

Oh yeah, I brought my quilt in to work today, so that I could use my down time to rip out the one row. And I forgot the seam ripper on the kitchen table.

I should just go back to bed.

Is It Back?

I should be rather excited today, but I am not.

I am steadily decreasing the amount of prednisone I am taking, I just finished the quilt top I have been working on for months, I have fresh veggies from my garden, and all else in the personal life seems to be going well.

I have been feeling rather uncomfortable the last few days. My knees are starting to resemble good sized cantaloupes and it is beginning to hurt when I walk. I just was hoping all of this was done, at least for a while longer. And I am worried. As I decrease the amount of steroid in my body, the joints seems to be a little more achy.

I hope this is all in my head and not the start of another bout of fun.

Weird Day

Today started out great! Went to a WW meeting and found out I had lost a few more pounds (total lost so far is 7.8 pounds). Work was good. Everything seemed to be going well.

Then I decided to go for a walk. I have been walking at work a few times a week. There are lots of great trails by work. And the two trails I usually go on are 3.5 and 4 miles each. So I figure I have been doing pretty well. However, I started out on the walk. And things just began to feel bad. My knee started to ache and it was not a sore over use kind of ache. It is the kind that makes me go, Oh crap! Not this again!. After about 15 more minutes of walking, my hip began in on the fun. Not one to every want to miss out on fun! The hip started to pop in and out. Lovely! Luckily for me, my friend who I was walking with, was also not feeling up to the usual long walk, so we turned around.

Made it back to the office in one piece. But kept thinking how I wished I had my cell phone to call someone to pick us up. I am a little worried that this might be the beginning of a flare up. Even if it is not, it is definitely something to be cautious of. And I am worried how the rest of the day, week will go, if this achiness keeps up.

At least I have a fun movie night to look forward to! (a nice sedentary evening).

Time to be thankful

This week has been pretty nice. I really can not complain. I have been reading other blogs about life with RA and feel pretty fortunate. My life of chaos and extreme discomfort is slowing moving to a more normal functional realm. After a long year, some much needed time off from life, drastic changes in my medical care, and a lot of faith, I am finally feeling better. I feel like I am normal. Or as normal as any of us really are. I can do the everyday mundane things and the not so mundane things.

I think the hardest part of this disease is that it blindly strikes, hard, quick, out of nowhere; with periods of peace which trick you. They trick you into forgetting what the disease is like, the constant pain, the inability to do simple tasks. The way in which your body can go from normal to completely broken in 0 to 60 in a blink of an eye... And for me it was only 2 short months ago, where I was struggling with just about everything. Trying to cope with it all. Trying hard not to depend on others too much. Never wanting to be a burden and always wanting...

It is good to remember what it was like. It is good to know that all the changes and hard decisions made over the last few months were worth it. That my body has responded amazingly well. And that is definitely something to celebrate and be thankful for!

And this is not only noticed by me, by how I feel each day and perceive myself. But by others. YAY! This weekend a friend told me how it was nice to see me so much more animated. It is not the first time that I had heard that, but each time I hear a comment like that, it makes me stop and think about the toll this disease takes on a person as a whole and how much I have to be grateful for. I definitely enjoy being more active and positive. It just feels good!

The highlights of the week

• wonderful comments from friends about positive attitude ~ which is great since I feel I can be quite a downer and have tend to view the glass as half empty
  
• increase in energy
  
• making time to workout ~ walking at work 3.5 miles 3 times this week and dance class (but I still gained weight)
• pills decreasing in number ~ I am down to 20 mg prednisone a day!!! WoOT!!!
• seeing the squash and tomatoes on the plants grow + building the trellis for the peas with the bf
• making time for and having a great date night
• success at work ~ smoothly accomplishing something (that had to do with a someone) that I was dreading... but hey, it was smooth as butter
• and possibilities at work ... keeping fingers (and toes) crossed on this

My life seems to have a balance or as close to one, that I have not seen in years. The body works. I feel good. I have more energy than I have in a long while. Right now the key to keeping things running smoothly seems to be structure - planned diets, sleep schedule, medication schedule, lists for just about everything under the sun... I am a little tired of the schedule and plans. But when I do not get enough sleep or eat the wrong thing, I start to feel bad again.

I guess it is all about balance.

I do miss some of the chaos. May have to run amok a bit.

Strength and Inspiration

As I am sitting here, reading others blogs, I came across a posting by RA Guy which was all about strength and inspiration. He had a face-to-face meet with a woman who has lived with RA and was willing to share her stories, the good and the bad. So check out his post Wonder Woman, My Mentor.

It is a good read. Definitely inspiring to all who have any struggles, no matter what size.